Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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