i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
