ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
