hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
