i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We left an ass print on the piano.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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