Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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