Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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