i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
