Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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