you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
