She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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