Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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