You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he fucked my hip out of place.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want nice things and good sex
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
