she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
