i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
