Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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