Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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