The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
