he puts the penis in happiness.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
