I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
