weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
