i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
