The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
