I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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