Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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