I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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