To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
