dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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