there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
