Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
