i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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