thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
