Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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