nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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