in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
