You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
