i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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