dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
