We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
