Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
