I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
