there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
40s are totally the cure
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
