STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
