I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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