I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
