Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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