You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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