Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
