I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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