Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
