I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
