This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
